Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who’s got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. This is certainly a subject we have actually too much to state about actually I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to know another perspective – especially the one that respects the standard values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed into the western as a cool, difficult destination with a few magical architecture, countless vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and whom, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The folks are portrayed within the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or members of gangs whom continue steadily to reference one another exclusively as comrade (which, incidentally, is really a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is never a word that is russian! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it’s cool, vodka undoubtedly exists, and calendars featuring a shirtless putin and puppies aren’t an issue, you can find one thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and folks.
After residing right right here for very long sufficient to catch a good glimpse into Russian culture, here you will find the things that i really want you to learn about Russia and Russians:
1. The greater conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
Before we have stuck into this aspect, i wish to inform you that i actually do not condone any “traditional” view of ladies that requires domestic physical violence or almost any behavior that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance associated with the woman’s free might.
The thing I do like to say is the fact that, as a financially-independent Western girl, I ENJOY that Russian males hold doorways available in my situation which help me down buses.
Do I expect it? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it will or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a small flutter of butterflies in my own belly whenever my date does it? You bet I Actually Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it reveals that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is certainly a lot better than having a person yell “nice arse” at me personally from a car or truck…
It’s a tad bit more complicated away from the scene that is dating.
I’m grateful when a person helps me straight straight straight down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I have always been maybe maybe not yet comfortable leaping down something only a little higher than I’d so it is genuinely helpful like it to be when my landing space is covered in snow and ice.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see males assisting ladies with prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things within the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as once they insist upon keeping the class room home available in my situation. ??
It is also only a little bewildering whenever a senior girl rejects my offer to simply help her along with her shopping, simply to accept the offer of this next moving male.
Russia isn’t a impairment place that is friendly numerous methods, and so I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized into the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, not quite as a direct result an even more “traditional” view of women.
In any event, whenever I remember the battles that I’d with lazy/tired Melbourne employees for the train chair once I had stitches in my own base and compare it because of the Russians leaping down their seats to aid anybody slightly even worse off than by themselves, i believe the western could discover something or two.
2. The greater conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its downsides in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being a lady in Russia that we don’t always sign up to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, within the feeling that I don’t invest a lot of time keeping myself and my typical hairstyle is “yes, my locks happens to be washed recently sufficient after which left to a unique devices”.
We definitely don’t appearance or odor I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
Some of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to a quantity of occasions.
A number of the responses are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress such as for instance a Russian”
Most are a bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my mindset is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or who don’t simply take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these days. I’ve firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian males choose ladies who will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The Russian man that I’ve been seeing is thrilled to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He could be additionally a lot more than happy to make the backseat on any other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
It’s a small Pavlovian, but also for now We find it cute so no damage, no foul.
Another difference that is cultural I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils within my classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once whenever I’ve mentioned spending some time with a male buddy.
Navigating friendships with Russian guys could be tricky because their motives could be a small dissimilar to your personal.
This definitely exists within Western tradition, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where marriage and young ones are hot topics among the moms and dads of solitary people within their mid-to-late twenties.